Monday, April 11, 2011

Turns Out Marriage can be Hard Work Sometimes

I've always heard that marriage is hard work. I've only been married for a little over 8 months, but I'm just now beginning to understand a small portion of what that means. Let me explain...

 Since we moved up here in August (but more so since December when Skylar broke off from the company he'd been with and fully started his own thing), the challenges of starting his own company have been far greater than we anticipated. For a long time, I found it very difficult to support my husband fully. I knew that a new company struggles a lot for the first year or so, and we were certainly no exception, but it was tough for me not knowing how we were going to pay our bills at times. Even though my words said I supported him, my feelings and emotions said otherwise. Lately, however, I've been letting go of my rigid plans little by little and softening up toward a new idea. Last night Skylar and I sat down to work out a couple of possible game plans for this next year, and I decided to fill him in on my formulating idea.

Growing up, my parents taught me the importance of getting an education.  Drilled it in to me, is more like it. I agree with them 100%. Even if I never work again after we have kids, I need an education just for my own peace of mind. However, I'm realizing that there are multiple ways of getting that education. Originally, my plan was to go to school non-stop full time for the next 16 months until I graduated in August of 2012. That's what you do, when you're this age, after all. I would NOT deviate from that path. But that path meant I couldn't work much, which meant we had to rely almost entirely on whether or not people decided to buy a roof from a company who was just getting started, which meant we were struggling, which meant I was stressed beyond belief, which meant I might say one thing, but my emotions showed how unhappy I was, which put huge strain on our relationship.

So, I explained this idea I had to the husband: depending on how things go in the next week, I might cut back to part-time in school and kick it up to full-time in work. This part-time school business might just be for the summer, or it might extend until I finally graduate (which would be April of 2013 if I were to go part-time from here on out).

This doesn't mean that I don't believe in Utah Metal Roofing (the website just started construction). It means that this company is no exception to the trying period all companies face in the beginning. Rather than me being rigid and continuing on the path I originally decided on and having our relationship suffer at times for it, I've decided to try out flexibility and change my plans instead of always taking and expecting my husband to conform for me. He's done that so much throughout our relationship, I think it's finally my turn.

Skylar is a super smart guy and he always figures out a way to make things work. I know this endeavor will be the same, it's just going to take some time (and patience, I'm finding). So this is my way of supporting him. This may not sound like hard work on my part for our marriage, but it's actually really scary for me to let go of what I've always thought I'd do and do something else instead. We might have to stick around in Utah for a little longer, but eventually life will go on and we'll get to come back to Texas! Until then, we're both busting our butts to make our marriage, his company, and our lives work. All in all, life is good!

P.S. I got the job I wrote about in my last post! It's in Midvale, just 10 minutes from where we'll be living. Depending on how many hours I get there, I might have to get a second job, too. Skylar really wants me to work at Men's Wearhouse because I'll get 50% off (they offered me a job when we lived in Ft. Worth, but I didn't take it. I don't think the husband has ever fully forgiven me for that). There's one right down the road from our new place, so we'll see....


  1. It doesn't matter how many twists and turns your road has, as long as you can still see your goals in the distance! You and Skylar will do well!

  2. Love you!! Congrats on the job!!