SOAPBOX ALERT!
While at the gym this morning, I was really enjoying my workout. I had been on the elliptical for a while and was really in the groove while I watched one of the TVs on mute and read the subtitles. Suddenly, this woman came up and turned on the TV next to me, then proceeded to turn the volume ALL the way up. RUDE! (There were several instances today of people being inconsiderate of others) I tried to ignore it and keep paying attention to what I was watching/reading, but the idiot Whoopi Goldberg refused to be ignored on The View next to me. This episode of The View was all about weddings. Every single thing said on the show was completely ridiculous - especially Whoopi's comments. I will give her credit for ONE thing she said, however, as she pointed out that one reason she didn't like going to weddings was because society makes girls believe that their wedding isn't special unless they've spent a gazillion dollars on it. Touche Whoopi. I'll give you that. And as much as I hate to say this, I agree with her. (She probably would have liked my wedding - simple backyard barbeque with swimming and karaoke. Awesome.)
Anyway, she went on to flap her jaw about all kinds of stupid things, including a statement about how weddings were just a way for 2 people to show everyone that they've decided to attempt to spend their lives together. The other girls on the show laughed at that as they agreed. The audience laughed because that's just what marriage is - it's just trying something out and if it doesn't work, that's just fine.
WRONG. So wrong. This is one thing of MANY that's wrong with society.
On the flip side, tonight I heard Faith Hill's song "Breathe." Sure it's an oldie, but we all know it. Watch this to refresh your memory. (Sorry, couldn't get the video to download on here right now) Yes, Faith Hill looks like the epitome of perfection, but the lyrics of the song are just as misleading as Whoopi's ideas about love - only....in the opposite direction.
Here's the problem: for some reason, too many people are mislead to believe that if it's truly love, you'll feel like this song. If you don't feel this way, it's not love. And if this feeling wears off, then it's time to jump ship, but hey, at least you "attempted" it, right? WRONG. So wrong.
Sure I may be relatively young and don't have too much experience (time-wise) in love and marriage, but I know the truth and I'm grateful for that. The truth is, that song doesn't describe love. It describes being "twitterpated" as my dad calls it. These ideas we have about love are false for the most part. Yes, every once in a while you may feel like Faith Hill in the song, but most of the time, you just feel normal and you just keep working your way through life. And when those feelings of twitterpation wear off and you feel the grind of everyday life, sure you can appease your conscience by saying you gave it your best shot, but it just wasn't meant to be. (But you'd usually be full of poo if you did that.) OR, when it comes to marriage, you can make the choice to stick it out and work through life with your spouse.
In our short 10 months of marriage, husband and I have already had to deal with MANY obstacles that most couples don't have to face for years (with the exception of surprise babies - we make DARN sure we don't get surprise babies). And holy cow, some of those challenges have been very.....challenging. And there are MANY times that we don't see eye to eye on situations and things get really sticky between us. And quite frankly, when this happens, neither of us feel very lovey dovey toward the other for a while. But we make the choice to work through it together, overcome it, and move on with life until the next barrier presents itself.
Sure, we could easily call the game and say "Hey, we attempted to spend the rest of our lives together, but because those gooey lovey feelings have worn off, I guess it just wasn't meant to be." But when we choose NOT to say that and choose to push past it, something interesting happens...we grow to love each other more. I don't mean we get all twitterpated for each other again, but rather real, solid love grows stronger. We develop more respect for each other. We learn even more about the other person and develop more unconditional love. We reinforce the fact that we can do hard things. Our desire to stay together is strengthened. We become more grateful for the other.
It's sad that so many people miss out on those opportunities for growth because they decide to "take the easy way out." (Disclaimer: certainly there are special circumstances where divorce really is the best option, but those circumstances are rare.) Though husband and I aren't seeing eye to eye on something right now, I know we'll definitely work through it and be better than we were for it. And we'll love each other even more, too. When people said marriage would be hard, I believed them, but I had all the wrong ideas about HOW it would be hard. I look forward to the difficulties we'll face in the future because I look forward to growing with the husband.
Here's to not just "attempting" to spend our lives together, but to actually DOING it.
While at the gym this morning, I was really enjoying my workout. I had been on the elliptical for a while and was really in the groove while I watched one of the TVs on mute and read the subtitles. Suddenly, this woman came up and turned on the TV next to me, then proceeded to turn the volume ALL the way up. RUDE! (There were several instances today of people being inconsiderate of others) I tried to ignore it and keep paying attention to what I was watching/reading, but the idiot Whoopi Goldberg refused to be ignored on The View next to me. This episode of The View was all about weddings. Every single thing said on the show was completely ridiculous - especially Whoopi's comments. I will give her credit for ONE thing she said, however, as she pointed out that one reason she didn't like going to weddings was because society makes girls believe that their wedding isn't special unless they've spent a gazillion dollars on it. Touche Whoopi. I'll give you that. And as much as I hate to say this, I agree with her. (She probably would have liked my wedding - simple backyard barbeque with swimming and karaoke. Awesome.)
Anyway, she went on to flap her jaw about all kinds of stupid things, including a statement about how weddings were just a way for 2 people to show everyone that they've decided to attempt to spend their lives together. The other girls on the show laughed at that as they agreed. The audience laughed because that's just what marriage is - it's just trying something out and if it doesn't work, that's just fine.
WRONG. So wrong. This is one thing of MANY that's wrong with society.
On the flip side, tonight I heard Faith Hill's song "Breathe." Sure it's an oldie, but we all know it. Watch this to refresh your memory. (Sorry, couldn't get the video to download on here right now) Yes, Faith Hill looks like the epitome of perfection, but the lyrics of the song are just as misleading as Whoopi's ideas about love - only....in the opposite direction.
Here's the problem: for some reason, too many people are mislead to believe that if it's truly love, you'll feel like this song. If you don't feel this way, it's not love. And if this feeling wears off, then it's time to jump ship, but hey, at least you "attempted" it, right? WRONG. So wrong.
Sure I may be relatively young and don't have too much experience (time-wise) in love and marriage, but I know the truth and I'm grateful for that. The truth is, that song doesn't describe love. It describes being "twitterpated" as my dad calls it. These ideas we have about love are false for the most part. Yes, every once in a while you may feel like Faith Hill in the song, but most of the time, you just feel normal and you just keep working your way through life. And when those feelings of twitterpation wear off and you feel the grind of everyday life, sure you can appease your conscience by saying you gave it your best shot, but it just wasn't meant to be. (But you'd usually be full of poo if you did that.) OR, when it comes to marriage, you can make the choice to stick it out and work through life with your spouse.
In our short 10 months of marriage, husband and I have already had to deal with MANY obstacles that most couples don't have to face for years (with the exception of surprise babies - we make DARN sure we don't get surprise babies). And holy cow, some of those challenges have been very.....challenging. And there are MANY times that we don't see eye to eye on situations and things get really sticky between us. And quite frankly, when this happens, neither of us feel very lovey dovey toward the other for a while. But we make the choice to work through it together, overcome it, and move on with life until the next barrier presents itself.
Sure, we could easily call the game and say "Hey, we attempted to spend the rest of our lives together, but because those gooey lovey feelings have worn off, I guess it just wasn't meant to be." But when we choose NOT to say that and choose to push past it, something interesting happens...we grow to love each other more. I don't mean we get all twitterpated for each other again, but rather real, solid love grows stronger. We develop more respect for each other. We learn even more about the other person and develop more unconditional love. We reinforce the fact that we can do hard things. Our desire to stay together is strengthened. We become more grateful for the other.
It's sad that so many people miss out on those opportunities for growth because they decide to "take the easy way out." (Disclaimer: certainly there are special circumstances where divorce really is the best option, but those circumstances are rare.) Though husband and I aren't seeing eye to eye on something right now, I know we'll definitely work through it and be better than we were for it. And we'll love each other even more, too. When people said marriage would be hard, I believed them, but I had all the wrong ideas about HOW it would be hard. I look forward to the difficulties we'll face in the future because I look forward to growing with the husband.
Here's to not just "attempting" to spend our lives together, but to actually DOING it.
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